Navigating Family Transitions - Matrescence Edition
As a therapist, I often see families during times of transition—those pivotal moments when life shifts, and the familiar becomes unfamiliar. Right now, many families (mine included) are experiencing significant transitions, whether it's the start of a new school year, adjusting to changes in work or home life, or navigating the evolving dynamics of growing children. These transitions can be both exciting and challenging, bringing a mix of emotions for parents and children alike.
Understanding the Impact of Transitions
Transitions are a natural part of life, but that doesn't mean they’re easy. For parents, especially mothers, these moments often bring up feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and even a sense of loss. As our children grow and move into new stages—whether it’s starting kindergarten, entering middle school, or leaving for college—we, too, are forced to adapt and grow. This process is deeply connected to matrescence, the often-overlooked transition into motherhood that involves significant shifts in identity, relationships, and self-perception.
The Role of Matrescence in Navigating Change
Matrescence is not just a phase we go through when we first become mothers; it’s a lifelong journey. Each new stage our children enter prompts another wave of growth and adaptation within us. Understanding this concept can be incredibly empowering. It reminds us that it’s okay to feel unsettled during times of transition, that these feelings are part of the process of becoming. Just as our children need time to adjust to their new environments, we, too, need time to adjust to our evolving roles as mothers.
As a therapist, I encourage mothers to embrace matrescence as an ongoing journey. Acknowledge the changes, both big and small, that come with each new stage of your child’s life. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise—whether it’s joy, grief, excitement, or anxiety—and know that it’s all part of the process.
Strategies for Easing Family Transitions
Prioritize Mom, Too: One of the most important things to remember during times of transition is that you, as a mother, need just as much care and attention as your children. It’s easy to focus all your energy on helping your kids navigate changes, but your well-being is equally essential. By taking care of yourself, you’re not only modeling healthy coping strategies for your children, but you’re also ensuring that you have the emotional and physical resources to support them effectively.
Communicate Openly: Talk with your children about the changes happening in their lives. Listen to their concerns and validate their feelings. Open communication helps children feel secure and supported.
Establish Routines: Routines provide a sense of stability during times of change. Whether it’s a morning ritual before school or a bedtime routine, these small, consistent practices can help children feel grounded.
Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that you’re going through a transition, too. Be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or uncertain. Give yourself permission to take things one step at a time.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you need it. Whether it’s talking to a friend, joining a support group, or seeking therapy, connecting with others who understand your experience can make a world of difference.
Focus on Connection: Use this time of transition as an opportunity to strengthen your bond with your child. Spend quality time together, engage in activities that you both enjoy, and let your child know that you’re there for them no matter what.
Transitions are an inevitable part of life, and while they can be challenging, they also offer opportunities for growth and connection. As you and your family navigate these changes, remember that you don’t have to do it alone. Embrace the journey of matrescence, lean into the support around you, and trust that both you and your children have the strength to thrive through every new chapter.
If you find yourself struggling during this time of transition, know that support is available. As a therapist, I’m here to hel