Living in the Loud: Navigating Overstimulation in Motherhood
Motherhood brings a unique set of joys, but it also presents an endless wave of demands that can lead to physical, emotional, and mental overstimulation. The term "overstimulation" refers to the overwhelming feeling you get when there’s simply too much happening at once—too many sounds, demands, emotions, or responsibilities coming at you all at once. This is a common experience for mothers, especially those juggling the relentless responsibilities of caring for children, managing a household, and often working outside the home.
In today’s fast-paced world, overstimulation seems almost unavoidable. The constant noise, notifications from devices, and endless multitasking can leave you feeling mentally drained and emotionally spent. For mothers, this can be particularly intense because children themselves are little bundles of stimulation—loud, unpredictable, and always needing something.
What Does Overstimulation Feel Like in Motherhood?
Overstimulation in motherhood often manifests as irritability, impatience, anxiety, or a strong desire to escape. You may feel like you’re on edge, snapping more easily at your kids or partner. Physically, you might notice tension in your body, headaches, or fatigue, even when you’ve had enough rest. It’s that tight-chested, racing-mind feeling that makes you wish you could find just five minutes of peace.
When you’re overstimulated, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing—like you’re not patient or calm enough, or that you’re not handling motherhood “correctly.” But overstimulation is not a sign of weakness. It’s a signal that your nervous system is overworked and that you need to find ways to manage the constant input you’re receiving.
Knowing Your Triggers
One of the most important steps in managing overstimulation is identifying what triggers it for you. Every mom is different, and what overwhelms one person may not faze another. By recognizing the specific situations or stimuli that tend to push you into sensory overload, you can take proactive steps to minimize their impact or prepare yourself to handle them better.
Here are some common triggers moms often experience:
Noise Levels
Multitasking
Lack of Personal Space
Technology and Notifications
Clutter and Visual Overload
Emotional Demands
Strategies to Manage Overstimulation
Here are some practical strategies to help reduce the intensity of overstimulation and build in more moments of calm in your day.
Lean into Sensory-Friendly Crafts or Activities
How it helps: Sensory play can be calming for both you and your children.
What to do: Engage in calming sensory activities with your kids, like playing with kinetic sand, water beads, or Play-Doh. These activities allow you to focus on touch and texture, which can help reduce sensory overload for both you and your children.
Practice Micro-Breaks
How it helps: A micro-break is a quick, intentional pause (1-2 minutes) to reset your mind and body. Even with kids around, you can step away for a few deep breaths or stretch.
What to do: Take a few moments to focus on your breath, stand up and stretch, or sip water mindfully. This can help calm your nervous system without needing to leave the room.
Utilize the Power of Playlists
How it helps: Sound is a major factor in overstimulation, but you can counteract this with carefully curated playlists.
What to do: Create a few calming playlists or white noise mixes you can play in the background to neutralize overstimulating noise. Choose peaceful or instrumental music for calming energy in the house, or experiment with nature sounds to help bring a sense of calm during chaotic times of the day.
Need a little inspiration: Check out my Overstimulated Mom playlist on Spotify
Use Grounding Exercises Together
How it helps: Grounding techniques help to pull you out of the overwhelm by focusing on your physical senses.
What to do: Here are some of my favorite grounding exercise:
5-4-3-2-1: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
Grounding into your Feet: Stand or sit with both feet flat on the floor. Imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet into the earth, grounding you and providing stability. Feel the weight of your body supported by the ground. This practice helps you feel anchored, especially in chaotic or overstimulating moments.
Need a little inspiration: Check out my collegue, Emily Souder’s, wonderful grounding meditation on Insight Timer
Incorporate Movement Breaks
How it helps: Movement helps discharge pent-up energy from overstimulation.
What to do: Engage your kids in a quick movement break with you. Do simple stretches, dance, or a short burst of jumping jacks together. Movement helps you reset both physically and mentally and can be a fun bonding activity with your kids.
Engage in "Bathroom Spa" Time
How it helps: The bathroom can be a mini-escape, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
What to do: Turn a regular bathroom break into a mini self-care moment. Use a favorite lotion or face mist, breathe in a calming essential oil, or run your hands under warm water while focusing on the soothing sensations. Even taking a few extra minutes for yourself in the bathroom can feel like a recharge.
Escape to Nature (Even in Your Backyard)
How it helps: Nature has a calming effect on the nervous system, even if you only step outside for a few minutes.
What to do: Take a few moments to step outside, even if it's just in your backyard or by an open window. Feel the breeze, notice the sounds of nature, and take a few deep breaths. Focusing on the natural world around you helps bring a sense of peace, even when you can't go far.
Butterfly Hug
How it helps: The butterfly hug is a simple self-soothing technique that stimulates bilateral brain activity, helping you feel grounded.
What to do: Cross your arms over your chest, with each hand resting on the opposite shoulder or upper arm. Slowly tap your hands, alternating left and right. Continue tapping for 1-2 minutes while taking deep breaths. This rhythmic tapping helps soothe your nervous system and calms feelings of overstimulation.
Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose
How it helps: This gentle inversion posture helps regulate the nervous system, relieve stress, and promote relaxation.
What to do: Lie on your back with your legs elevated and resting against a wall. Let your arms relax by your sides. Stay in this position for 5-10 minutes, focusing on deep breathing. The posture promotes circulation and helps calm overstimulation.
Asking for Support When You’re Overstimulated
As moms, we often feel the pressure to handle everything on our own, but recognizing when you need support and asking for help is a vital part of managing overstimulation. It’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a smart way to protect your mental and emotional well-being.
Communicate Your Needs Clearly
How it helps: Being direct about what you need allows others to step in and offer the right kind of support.
What to do: When you’re feeling overwhelmed, let your partner, family, or friends know specifically what they can do to help. You might say, “I need 15 minutes to myself, can you watch the kids?” or “Could you help with dinner tonight?” Clear communication ensures that your needs are understood.
Involve Your Partner or Co-Parent
How it helps: Overstimulation can feel isolating, but involving your partner or co-parent helps lighten the load.
What to do: Have an open conversation with your partner about how overstimulation affects you. Create a plan for them to take over certain tasks when you’re feeling overwhelmed, like handling bedtime or taking the kids out for a walk, so you can have a moment to recharge.
Lean on Your Village
How it helps: Sometimes friends, family, or even neighbors can offer invaluable help when you need a break.
What to do: Don’t be afraid to call on your support network when you’re feeling overstimulated. Whether it’s asking a friend to babysit for an hour or trading playdates with another parent, having a community to lean on can relieve a lot of pressure.
Create a Plan for Overwhelming Days
How it helps: Having a backup plan for particularly overwhelming days ensures you won’t have to manage everything on your own.
What to do: Work with your partner or close family members to create a plan for when you’re feeling overstimulated. This could include designated “alone time” or assigning specific household tasks to someone else. Planning ahead allows you to take a break when you need it most without feeling guilty or anxious.
Ask for Professional Help if Needed
How it helps: Sometimes, the overwhelm can be so persistent that professional help becomes necessary.
What to do: If you find that overstimulation is becoming a regular occurrence and impacting your ability to function, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. Mental health professionals can provide tools and strategies to help manage stress and overstimulation more effectively.
Owning the Overstimulation
As a mom, overstimulation is unavoidable. Between the constant demands and sensory overload, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But instead of seeing it as something you must fix or control, it’s important to acknowledge that overstimulation is part of the motherhood experience. By recognizing your limits, setting boundaries, and asking for support, you can own the overstimulation without letting it define your daily life. There’s power in understanding that while you can’t quiet the noise, you can navigate it on your own terms.
References:
Postpartum Support International (PSI). Managing Sensory Overload in Motherhood.
Available at: https://www.postpartum.netMarkham, L. (n.d.). Emotional Regulation and Peaceful Parenting Strategies.
Available at: https://www.ahaparenting.comThe Gottman Institute. Parenting Strategies for Emotional Overload.
Available at: https://www.gottman.comSensory Processing Disorder (SPD) Foundation. Sensory Processing Strategies.
Available at: https://www.spdstar.orgHarvard Health Publishing. Mindfulness and Grounding Exercises for Stress Management.
Available at: https://www.health.harvard.eduAmerican Psychological Association (APA). Managing Overstimulation and Anxiety in Motherhood.
Available at: https://www.apa.org